Sunday, April 16, 2006

played out: conviction

A full calendar year has not even rolled by since I was given a degree from Ozark CC and I am already beginning to lose my touch. No, no... my faith is not unraveling before my eyes or am I forgetting all the information I learned during my time in the classroom. In fact, going straight into graduate work has helped me continue to sharpen my mind and has been a joy along the way. My struggle lies in my inability to see things as clearly as I once did. My education was grounded very much in a black and white world, but I have overturned more gray than I thought existed. Do I still believe in the inspiration of scripture? Of course! What about the virgin birth? Yes! Literal miracles? Yes, so I am sorry to disappoint if you were looking for a little more action or debate! I think that what I struggle with is finding the means I need to execute my convictions outside of the classroom. How can I flirt with an anti-war viewpoint when I have two brothers enlisted in the US military? How can I call others to sell everything and give it to the poor when I really love my ipod? And is it possible to pursue selfish ambitions and kingdom issues at the same time? If not, I've been trying to figure out a way. And how do these thoughts change the way I teach? Write? Love my wife? Disciple? Pray? Recycle? View non-Christians? And I can't help but wonder how do they change the way you look at me?

2 comments:

wink said...

I've had some similar questions of late. Specifically, is the abundant life we are promised meant to begin on earth? Are we to relax and enjoy earthly things? Or are they all a waste of time? Should I not be in the 10/40 window sharing the gospel?

At the moment, I consider enjoying a good brew among friends unbelievably satisfying, a heaven-on-earth experience. Man's creation of good art (any medium - cinema, sport, painting, music, literature, etc.) I believe parallels God's creativity in nature, and enjoying these things seems appropriate and justified. Even enjoying my family’s love and companionship is refreshing and joyous, though not particularly pragmatic in relation to the gospel (at least not directly).

In Surprised by Joy, C.S. Lewis discusses catching a glimpse of God, or joy, as a boy when seeing his brother's toy garden - something in which he saw true beauty…just came to mind.

That’s all I got. No satisfying conclusions yet.

Shaver80 said...

Good questions...I have found that there is a silencing of the mouth going on in my life , because I tend to talk about such issues without first really contemplating and weighing my thoughts with "inspired scripture." I am eager to see what insights and thoughts you have on such issues as you wrestle. Have you been listening to Derek Webb?