Wednesday, December 24, 2008

an open letter to santa claus

Dear Santa -

Look, I know this is a little last minute, so forgive my tardiness. It is just that I had been debating sending such a formal request to you in the first place. My original plan was to visit you at the mall, the old-fashioned way. Yet after going back and forth in my head, I determined that children should not be exposed to a 26 year-old man sitting on another man's lap. Especially when that man is wearing velvet. Let's leave those sights to the Mardi Gras season instead.

Since I didn't get to visit with you in person, you'll have to take my word that I have been good this year. I worked hard at work, you can ask my boss if you need to. I volunteered on a campaign for a man who I think will do a good job as president. I haven't asked for a bail out of any sorts, which is doing pretty good these days. Oh yeah, and I also got a master's degree and ran a marathon. Oh... and I now make sure to replace the liner in the trashcan after I take out the trash. That was probably the hardest obstacle of them all.

All that to say, I'm not sure if you'll even get this in time. I'm not sure how the whole timezone thing works and if you will have to leave before I get through. Do you head east to west? So, on the slim chance that you do get a chance to put together a few last minute items, here are a few of my Christmas wishes.

BCS Championship for OU - I know that I have been asking for this for years. And while we're on that topic, you have been letting me down for years. Maybe I'm extra excited because I actually feel like this wish might come true this year. The offense is one of the best in the history of college football. The defense isn't great but has stepped up in big situations down the stretch. My fear is, Santa, that unless I get this under the tree this year, it won't happen for many more years. A lot of people out there really don't believe. But let the record state Santa, that I believe.

Better Husband - Please don't read this list too quickly Santa. I'm not asking for a better husband. In fact, I would really rather not have one at all. I'm perfectly fine with a wife. But I'm asking this for someone else... this girl I know. I'm really not trying to be cheesy, or get some sort of "pat on the back" in the comments section. I just know myself and I know that after 6 years I can still be pretty selfish sometimes. I also know that I could unload the dishwasher a few more times. It's not that hard. I know where all of the plates go. But I was reflecting over the vows I made in August of 2002 a few weeks ago and I sincerely hope that I am living them out. I also hope that I will find new ways to spin those words into action in 2009. Santa, I'd appreciate any help I can get!

Peace on Earth - Help our new president make wise decisions on what wars to be involved in. I have my opinion Santa, but I figure if you could bring me a Gameboy in 1989 that you could figure this one out on your own too.

I think that about covers the big stuff. You might want to keep in mind that I also like M&M's, super bounce balls, Wii games, and that my car recently reached the 200,000 mile mark. I'm just saying that it is something to keep in mind.

Merry Christmas,
Eric Epperson

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