Wednesday, November 18, 2009

An Open Letter to People who Celebrate Christmas before Thanksgiving

Dear People who Celebrate Christmas before Thanksgiving,

What’s your deal? Seriously Nostradamus, who gave you permission to rearrange the calendar? Last time I checked, November comes before December. That also means that Thanksgiving comes before Christmas. So you better get your facts, and holidays, straight.

You are probably thinking, “Why does he hate Christmas so much?” The truth is that I don’t hate Christmas. If anything, I love Christmas too much. I love decorating the tree. I like giving and receiving presents. I like miniature ceramic displays of 18th century England. But I also like order. I like things where they belong. It’s the same reason I don’t celebrate St. Patrick’s Day in September. Socks go inside shoes. First comes love THEN comes marriage. Thanksgiving THEN Christmas. Not the other way around.

I recognize that the odds are stacked against you. Everyone from Abercrombie to Sears and Roebuck to the ghost of Sam Walton wants you to celebrate Christmas as early as possible. They figure that if you start celebrating in August, you’ll start buying gifts in August. That’s why there were Christmas trees up in Lowes the first week of October. That’s why Hollywood released Jim Carrey’s Christmas Carol movie in July. And that’s why you’re now wearing a Christmas sweater and listening to Mannheim Steamroller in 80 degree weather. It just seems a little forced.

Yes, the Christmas season is a magical time. Memories are made 'round the fire. Yuletide cheer abounds. We allow our children to sit on the laps of velvet-wearing, unemployed men and ask for wishes. But Christmas should be about quality, not quantity. You have to pace yourself. If you break out the tree in September, bake cookies in October, carol in November you have used up all of the good Christmas-y things by Black Friday.

Which brings me to my next point; why does Thanksgiving have to get the shaft so you can listen to Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas is you” on Veteran’s Day? Do you really think that the pilgrims fled from political and religious persecution so you could be so selfish? Yeah, that’s right. Celebrating Christmas in November is selfish. Besides, Thanksgiving is a good holiday. There’s turkey and parades and predictable yet inspirational sports movies. C'mon, slow down and enjoy this holiday before the liberals take it away!

Trust me, there is enough Christmas to go around. There is a season for everything. And I tend to believe that there is a pretty good season set aside just for Christmas. Take a breath. Let’s all be patient. Christmas will be there on the other side of Thanksgiving. There's no need for premature immaculate conception celebration. I’ll be putting up the tree November 29th. I hope you’ll join me.

Let’s keep Christ in Christmas… and keep Christmas in December.

Happy Holidays (in order),
Eric D. Epperson


ShawnMiyahara said...


Tony Anderson said...

I've got Mannheim Steamroller playing right now.

Amy said...

Today I asked Noah if he knew what holiday was coming up, after correcting him (he said Christmas), I asked him what he thinks about when he thinks about Thanksgiving...his answer, "I think about how Christmas is coming, and Christmas trees, and presents..." Looks like I've got some work to do.